Emily Lam

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Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Why I blog?

(Best read not as a mobile version.)

Have you noticed what day today is? It's my blog's birthday, anniversary of my blog's creation.
A year ago, confused and directionless about life, I created this blog.
Perhaps one of the the weirdest part of this is that I made it to the anniversary.
Prior to this blog, I've attempted to blog, but it would always just fade away. But this is different.
You know, I really have become fond of this little piece of the interweb.

Furthermore, I have a confession:
I blog for myself, really.
Reading my past posts, I realize that I also blog for you but it's mainly for me.
Sorry. But this blog helps me a lot more than it helps you. I am sure of that.
The stuff I include on my blog sometimes just helps me think. And at all times, tracks me.

And what do you mean by "tracks me?"
Namely, my blog preserves myself for my future self to read. Kind of like what my myspace became.
Now that I don't update my myspace – I haven't updated for years –
I can go on there and find a preserved high school me. And read about myself, who I was.
Very weird, indeed! Everything on myspace is exactly the way I left it.
Even the simple layout, with colorful but simple font. And my hidden goals . . .
Reading this blog in a couple of years, I feel, will be just as weird and introspective.
Some blog posts already feel like they are from a much younger, distant me.
Although, other posts feel just as current as they did last year.
Really, I am still lost and unsure about my future. And my personality is pretty much the same.
Yet, I am finding my way. And at least for now, I can feel it: the sense of a direction.

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