Emily Lam

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Friday, March 23, 2012

Spring Fever

I will admit: I struggled with this post and posting in March in general. I have so many thoughts but I just don't quite know what they are. And my infatuation with weather is probably getting old. The fact of the matter is that I have Spring Fever, badly. It's a sort of bipolar disease. Ever since I've been back from Spring Break, last Sunday, I've been on a walk or playing frisbee or both. I'm happy and want to be outside ALL the time. It's definitely messing with me. I'm more energetic. I haven't played outside this much since my prepuberty days. But I'm not focused at all. Minimum and only the essential work has been done. There's a sense of calmness, a lack of urgency. I sit in a class in a daze, just there. Luckily, classes haven't picked up yet, but they will next week for sure. I can tell I am on the last leg of this disease: Spring Fever. I feel myself taking control of my own body. And my focus returning. It's not a bad disease by any means. There is also a positive side effect: I've become more active. And that's always a good thing.

How does one recover from Spring Fever?

The same way one recovers from any disease: by sleeping.

I will tell you right now that sleep is not overrated. I pride myself on functioning on little sleep (five hours or less) and still maintaining an energy level greater than the average person without coffee or soda. But there's nothing like what a good night's sleep can do to you. Last night, I fell asleep unintentionally, before midnight, and slept until 8am, interrupted only when I woke up at 1am to sleep in my own bed – I had fallen asleep on our spare bed, my roommate's, who is currently abroad – but I promptly went back to sleep. That's a full eight hours +. And my mind is so much clearer.

But part of this murkiness in my mind, before Spring Fever hit, probably had to do with the lack of change in my routine. I thrive off change, meeting new people, exploring new parts of the city, thinking new thoughts, and the likes. And I kind of fell into this routine: attend classes, do some schoolwork, hang out with so and so, grade some papers, spend some hours in the lab, eat froyo, play draw something. The novelty is gone. I keep trying to view my college experience with the freshmen novelty and that helps to some extent. But the friends you hang out with aren't going to have the same views. And I am not going to try to impose my views on them. When things become too routine, I start to lose my voice. Things become generic. I become generic. The worst part is that I didn't realize I was falling into this routine. But starting with yesterday's walk, I broke it a little bit. I walked to a new part of Boston, I stopped to have a conversation with a peer I haven't seen in a while, I volunteered with ENG Dean's Host at the FIRST Robotics competition where I interacted with strangers, although my shift saw few strangers, and I read new blogs. And my mind's cleared a bit. So really, I thrive off change.

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