Emily Lam

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Saturday, April 06, 2013

The Door Metaphor

When I think of opening doors, I think of opening doors to opportunities. Opportunities that lie beyond the open doors. So throughout my life, I've opened doors: I've done things so that I could do other things. Some doors were easy to open. And some were hard to open: requiring hard work, skill, and luck, similar to how one solves a riddle to open a door to a new dungeon in a video game. Closing doors was something I hated doing. Of course, I could always re-open a door but that would take time. I would even try my best to enter doors that would allow me easy access to the doors I've already opened. That way I would not be limiting my choice of available open doors.

But I feel like I've hit a standstill. Of course I haven't opened all the doors out there. But I feel like I can't just keep opening doors and going into doors that keep all my other open doors easily accessible. I am getting restless. I want to enter a door that might not allow me easy access to my previous doors. And maybe even a door that will close behind once I've entered or somehow trigger other doors to close. But I know for a fact that I must enter one of those such doors eventually; where my dreams lie are beyond those doors. And if I continue to just keep opening doors and not entering them, I won't ever reach my goal. So I feel like it's time I walk across the threshold.

What lies beyond those doors do look promising though. It's become a matter of which door to choose. Choosing a random door might be what I end up doing but I'd like to choose wisely. And maybe, it doesn't matter which door I enter. If I keep persevering and trying, maybe I'll end up at the same place regardless of which door I choose. Maybe I'm being dramatic and this choice doesn't even matter!

Yes, I think that's what I will choose to believe. Whatever door I take, as long as I honestly like it and keep true to myself -- as in don't choose a door that looks dreadful beyond -- it'll probably take me to the same place. I should just enjoy the experience of whatever it is that door I choose to enter has to offer. And I shouldn't be afraid that other doors might close and that I will be limiting my opportunities. I can always reopen them. And maybe those doors will reappear opened somewhere down the path.

What I got after writing this post is that I need to stop over thinking everything . . .

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