Emily Lam

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Monday, June 20, 2016

Longest day of the year . . .

Happy Summer Solstice. Enjoy the sun and moon and life.

Friday, June 10, 2016

All I Could Do

All I Could Do, by Kimye Dawson, covered by Amanda Palmer, guitar by Jack Palmer.


It's strange that this is the song that brought me back to life. It's very easy to listen to; the melody is relaxing; the lyrics are complex and meaningful. It's nonintrusive, raw, and honest. The singer talks about her uncertain feelings about becoming a mother. She talks about doing something new that is completely foreign to her. How she might not be able to do what she has known and always done. She reminisces her past and how she's changed. She thinks back to all the things she had thought were all she could do at the time. Although, my life is completely different, the emotions feel familiar.

I'd been struggling with my overwhelming amount of thoughts these days. I don't know who I am. I struggle a lot with deciding what I want to do. There are times I wished I thought less and knew less and was blissfully ignorant. But that's flawed thinking. It's comforting to hear the singer accept that we continue to change and that it's okay. It's easy to think that things don't change, that people don't change, that things won't be different, to lose hope -- I fall prey to this. That the world moves on while you stand still. But that's not true. Everything changes, especially people. Who I am today is a compilation of who I was in the yesteryears; ever-changing. I love how positive change is conveyed in this song.

Accepting that change is the only constant is a paradox in itself. That's life. Gah!